No Screen Time: Week 6 *Update*
Why we did it, how we did it and what we’ve learned since going screen-free
If you had told Brodie and me a year ago that we would be talking about going “screen-free” with our children I would have called you a liar. If anything, we were advocates for iPads, TVs, and screens in general and would scoff at anyone who would talk negatively about them.
However, the beautiful thing about life is that you live and learn and I believe as parents, partners, and individuals one of the best ways to grow and make the most of life is to constantly reflect and assess your current situation. One thing we were constantly thinking about was our kids' screen time. Honestly, they weren’t on them ALL the time, but little behaviours were starting to reveal how addictive the screens were. For example, the first time we seriously considered going screen-free was when we were up at the cottage last summer, one of the most beautiful places in the world. In theory, it’s a children's paradise as there are so many things to do outdoors, yet our boys would constantly pester us to have more time on their iPads. Eventually, it got to the point where we knew we had to at least consider re-evaluating why we were using the screens in the first place.
Note: if you’ve been following our screen-free journey, some of this may be redundant so feel free to scroll down to the changes we’ve seen. If you’re new here, read on to learn how we got ourselves into this predicament in the first place.
This takes us to WHY we went screen-free…
As stated above, the biggest indicator for us that screens were doing more harm than good was the fact that we could be anywhere in the world and iPads and TV shows always seemed to be top-of-mind for our boys. It was the clearest sign that these things were EXTREMELY addicting.
Secondly, upon reflection, we realized that while we initially thought the screens were making our lives easier as parents (spoiler alert!), we learned over time that was not the case. Truth is, they were making our lives so much more challenging. Our kids were much more difficult to get out of the house and off to activities because they just wanted more TV time. They were also whinier, less responsive, wouldn’t play with their toys, etc.
Lastly, when we first started to ponder a screen-free life we dove into some research on the impacts screens have on a child's development and in short… It's not good. As much as we didn’t want to admit it, the problems seemed endless: Sleep disruption, attention problems, behavioral issues, and obesity to name a few.
Studies listed below
"Early childhood television viewing and adolescent behavior: the recontact study." - Christakis, Dimitri A., et al. Pediatrics, vol. 128, no. 4, 2011, pp. 804-809.
"Television viewing and attentional abilities in fourth and fifth grade children." - Swing, Edward L., et al. Journal of Applied Developmental Psychology, vol. 31, no. 3, 2010, pp. 211-219.
"Screen media exposure and obesity in children and adolescents." - Tremblay, Mark S., et al. Pediatrics, vol. 130, no. 6, 2012, pp. e175-e176.
The final straw and how we eventually decided to go screen-free…
Truthfully, the only reason we delayed the inevitable of going screen-free is because BRODIE AND I weren’t ready to give them up. We knew deep down it was the right thing for our children, however, we were also scared we would never get a break and would be unable to cope without screens occupying our children for our cherished moments of silence.
One day, the boys woke up at 6 a.m. and immediately asked to watch TV. I can’t recall what irked me so much about their request but I decided enough was enough and on a complete whim told them the TVs were no longer going on… They were finito, kaput, gone.
I thought they would put up more of a fight up and plead and beg but that wasn’t the case. They looked at me, and then just moved on.
For the iPads, we told them they were broken and being sent to the “fixer man” and that they wouldn’t be back for a LONG TIME. Let’s be honest, kids believe in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy so any reason would probably suffice.
And now for the update you’ve been waiting for (and something I never thought I’d be writing)
What we’ve learned after +6 weeks of no screens…
Firstly, I want to reiterate that this was not something we ever envisioned talking about. The idea of having no screens would have seemed foreign and off-putting only 12 months ago but again, you live, parent, and learn! What has led us to this point was a culmination of many factors and in hindsight, I wouldn’t change how we got here! We are both so happy with our decision to go screen-free and a few of our reasons are listed below (truthfully, there are many more but this post would be wayyyyy too long so I’ve listed some of the best in no specific order).
Way less fighting and WAY MORE playing with each other. The boys have gotten so much closer and loving with one another which has been incredible to watch.
Their attention spans and engagement with their toys and playing games have skyrocketed. They used to get bored in two minutes, even with new toys. Now they play for way longer and it’s amazing.
Their imagination and creativity have exploded. We are obsessed with seeing what little games, forts, and activities their little brains come up with daily. Warning: things definitely get messier but that’s ok with us. I would much rather see our toys and house played in than watch the boys sit idly on the couch.
It is so much easier to get them out of the house! They used to beg for five more minutes of TV and it made getting them out of the house a constant struggle. Now they are ready to go instantly and are always up for an adventure. Their willingness to just get outside now is at levels we have never seen before.
They actually sit down and eat their meals! Before, they would get distracted, refuse to eat, and never want to sit still. We love sitting down as a family for our meals now!
Way less tantrums. They still fight, but the tantrums, short tempers, and irritability have all decreased massively.
They are way better at being bored. Their default setting used to be that the moment boredom hit, they would default to watching TV. Now, that never happens. It’s counterintuitive but we aren’t complaining!
Things like reading are now a normal occurrence (I can’t believe I am actually typing this). Before, reading was very, very limited.
Way more outside time instead of couch time.
It has actually made our lives EASIER. Despite what we were so scared of, our boys are way more playful, find new ways to occupy themselves and sometimes we even get to enjoy our coffees sitting down in the morning!
Finally, we always want to clarify that this is OUR EXPERIENCE and I hope as a parent you don’t take offense to the fact we are discussing the no-screen topic. As we said, we have used screens for the majority of our parenting journey and came to this decision simply based on what we think (rightly or wrongly) is best for our children and our family. I truly believe the more we can embrace different parenting styles and perspectives, the better off we will all be! And lastly, if you’re on the fence about going screenless, just try it! I have a feeling you will be pleasantly surprised and the worst thing that happens is you decide it's not for you and go right back to flicking the screens on!
Keep on surviving!
Phil & Brodie
Thank you for sharing your experience! I’m very tempted to try this but was wondering what you do about screens at friends/families houses or school? Also, what wording did you use to explain your decision so that your kids could understand?
Thanks again!
Great story! If you go on like this your bio profile one-liner will turn upside down, from survival to thrive... ☺️