We’ve gone iPad free, and all hell hasn’t broken loose!
Nearly a year ago, we took our kid’s iPads away. Yes, you read that right. Besides a recent family vacation, iPad usage has been zero. However, screens have a funny way of creeping back into your kids' lives (it’s like a fatal attraction). Even though we had eliminated the iPads, the TV was becoming more and more prevalent. Even though we thought a little bit of screen time here and there made our lives easier, we began to see the downside of it first-hand (the boys were whinier, less capable of playing independently for extended periods, always wanted a show on, etc.)
So, we decided to make a change. Today we tried our first morning without watching TV. We thought it would be horrific, but just like when we took the iPads away, they started playing independently.
This video above of them playing might not look like much but it means the world to us and has really shown how limiting and even eradicating screen time makes a huge difference. All morning long, they played creatively, using their imagination to create a “boat fort”. This wouldn’t have happened in the past because their eyes would be glued to the screen, but with it gone, they chatted away doing what kids should be doing… playing!
Honestly, we NEVER thought we’d be saying this, but as always, parenting is a journey where you are constantly learning. After four boys and seeing the negative impacts of the iPad, we believe life is better without them (for both your kids and YOU as a parent). 🙏
In my experience, this is a huge part of growing as a parent—constantly reflecting on what worked and didn’t, being able to admit when you were wrong and change course accordingly. My views and beliefs as a parent have changed so much since Hudson was born, and truthfully, I never ever thought I would be typing away and telling other parents that iPads actually have a downside because we used to bring ours EVERYWHERE. Lo and behold, here we are, and I can admit that I no longer believe that’s the best course of action!
WHY DID WE TAKE THEM AWAY IN THE FIRST PLACE?
It all started last summer. We were up at the cottage, one of the most beautiful places in the world and truly a child's dream—a lake, boats, water sports, camp and so much more, yet we found our boys constantly asking for their iPads. They would become glued to them and even when we invited them to play, it would only last a few minutes before they wanted them back again. It was like watching their attention spans shrink in real-time as they constantly scrolled for a new show, and we began to realize that the upside of using the iPad (giving us a minute or two of peace and quiet) was non-existent and in turn, was making our kids less attentive and harder to manage.
So, we decided to pull the plug. We actually went straight cold turkey. In the morning, when they woke up, they asked where their iPads were, and we said we sent them to a “fixer man,” and after a quick scream and cry, they went on with their business (the good thing is kids have a memory like a goldfish and are extremely adaptable to new environments).
HOW IT’S GOING?
We truthfully thought it’d only last a day or two, but nine months later, and they have barely been on. The only time they have had them was on a recent flight to Turks and Caicos, and although it did give us some peace on the flight, it also reaffirmed that taking them away was the best decision because the moment we landed at our hotel in paradise, all they wanted were their iPads. I honestly was flabbergasted and couldn’t believe what I was witnessing.
Our hotel room was beautiful, the ocean was right in front of us, and we had an entire new hotel to explore and all they wanted was to sit in front of their screens! The experience reminded us just how powerful and addictive these devices can be, and after doing more research, are clearly doing harm to the development of our children.
So, as of right now, fully screen-free life is going well (we only took away the TV two days ago but so far so good)! Our boys have been playing independently, and our house is WAY more peaceful (we did not expect that, and it’s kind of bizarre, but our first two mornings have been ten times more enjoyable somehow without the TV on). That said, it is only day two, so you’ll have to check back in next week for our honest review! But at a high level, as far as the iPads go we have zero regrets with taking them away and find it hard to envision life where we reintroduce them ever again. As far as the TV goes, again it’s only day 2 but life seems pretty good so far and watching them play together reaffirms that screens are altering our kids childhood in a negative way so removing them makes a lot of sense. As much as I never wanted to believe it, it’s hard to argue that more screen time is better for our kids, as the research shows the exact opposite is true.
FINAL THOUGHTS… THE EASIER OPTION IS USUALLY THE HARDER ONE
When we used it more frequently, the iPad seemed so easy and too good to be true with Hudson and the twins. Honestly, it was a reliable tool we used to occupy our kids when we wanted a break. However, I think when one really reflects on what the iPad does, it’s more obvious than ever that it is doing more harm than good— it shrinks a child's attention span, completely rids them of any comfort with boredom, and zaps any creativity they had, which ultimately makes our lives as parents harder. If our child can’t be bored and creative without a device, then life will be very challenging. I should note that the same principles apply to adults too, which is why we have been (me in particular) making a concerted effort to lead by example and significantly reduce our screen time on our phones.
A lesson I have learned throughout my rugby and fitness career applies to parenting, too: the easier option usually turns out to be the harder one. We will continue to navigate this parenting journey as best we can and share our thoughts along the way!
If you have any questions or thoughts on this, please ask or share! As always, this is just our experience and what has worked for us, and we share it with no judgment. 😊🙏