Firstly, I want to say a HUGE, huge congratulations to all the parents who dug deep this summer and came out the other side. Maybe you didn’t emerge unscathed (I know we took a few beatings along the way), but at least we are alive and breathing after surviving the summer with our boys. The truth is, it is a long time to have the kids at home and even though there can be so many magical and amazing moments along the way, it does not take away from the fact that there is also a whole host of extremely challenging moments.
I think it’s always important, especially in parenting, to remember that two things can be true at the same time. For example, we can hate how exhausted, burnt out, and overstimulated we feel due to the relentlessness of constantly caring for our children during the summer and, at the very same time, feel guilty for not appreciating them because we are so stressed.
This is the reality of parenting: the constant tug-of-war between two vastly different emotions. Although I don’t know how to solve this, if you felt like you were fighting this battle all summer long, know you are not alone! Brodie and I are right there with you. Even this week, with the twins heading off to junior kindergarten for the first time, we have been overwhelmed with the joy of getting a reprieve from caretaking but also feeling extremely sad and longing for them to stay home because it feels like life is going by too fast.
Now, before we get into the nitty-gritty of today’s post, give yourself one more big pat on the back. From here on out, it’s all about US (at least until the kids come home from school/ wake up from their nap/ need a snack)!
After focusing so much time and energy on our kids throughout the summer months, it’s finally time to get back into a routine where we prioritize filling our cups and giving back to ourselves! This space is usually more focused on kids and less so on health and fitness, but taking care of ourselves is something I think is particularly important this time of year for parents. Today, I’m going to share a few quick tips that can help you get back to feeling good so that we can all enjoy the fall!
First up is RECONNECTING with your partner!
As parents, it’s easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of caring for children, managing the household and juggling daily responsibilities, leaving little time for ourselves—let alone for our partners. Honestly, this summer, some days would go by and I felt as though Brodie and I didn’t get the chance to have one adult, uninterrupted conversation!
What we have found has happened in the past, which is why we are focusing on this now, is that as we get back into balancing our school routine, work and after-school activities, by bedtime most nights, we have barely had a real conversation.
No matter how challenging it can be to find the time, especially this time of year, we have found that creating that space to connect every week is vital for maintaining a healthy, supportive relationship. One of our goals this fall is to make sure that once a week, no matter what, we schedule a date. It can be during the day, at night after the kids go down or any time for that matter, but the most important thing is that we schedule it and we both make an effort to be fully present!
We highly recommend trying this! It will do wonders for your relationship and how you feel and also give you something to look forward to each week.
Second up (this one is probably much more obvious) is (drum roll please)... PRIORITIZING EXERCISE!
This might sound a bit redundant because it’s something we all probably know we should be doing but the truth is it’s always so much easier said than done. Believe me, I know how hard it can be. This summer, I, an online fitness instructor, found myself the least disciplined I have ever been!
Unfortunately, I think so many parents, especially moms, get caught up in all the day-to-day tasks of parenting—keeping the house in order, becoming an Uber driver for after-school activities, etc. I 100% understand how this happens, but creating time for yourself is necessary too, even if it means leaving the dishes for when your partner gets home or working out while your laundry lies scattered all over the bedroom. No matter how you get there, or what it looks like, it is okay! It doesn’t get talked about enough how a lack of exercise drastically impacts all facets of our lives. Our hormones get out of whack (sex drive disappears, energy levels plummet, etc.), our sleep suffers, we become more prone to binge eating (literally… our hormones that control hunger get wonky and we crave fattier, processed foods more frequently), our confidence drops and our relationship with our partners can suffer as well.
The good news is if we prioritize ourselves more frequently and get moving (even just for small amounts of time) we can put a stop to all of these negative consequences and instead, feel better in these areas of our lives. We will have more energy, sleep better, be in a better mood and so much more!
I recently found an old post from when Ashton was first born and it reminded me of this. I was so proud of Brodie for putting her own needs above all of the chores that needed to be done for once! I would much rather her work out and me help out than her not having that time for herself.
Since the kids have gone back to school it has been an absolute slog in terms of getting back into a fitness routine but last week I did 4 entire workouts in a single week which is two more than I did any week during the summer! I have written a few tips that have helped me get back on track:
Start small: Begin with short, manageable workouts to build momentum without feeling overwhelmed. My first workout of the week was just 20 minutes but I used that to build!
Create a routine: Exercising at the same time each day helps establish a habit that becomes part of your daily life. I find it best to schedule it as if it were an appointment. That way, no matter how you are feeling or how your day is going you just show up.
Get an accountability partner: Having someone to check in with or work out with makes it harder to skip sessions and keeps you committed. If you’re doing one of my challenges, for example, join with a partner! You are 10 times more likely to stick with your routine if someone else is joining you on the journey!
If you are looking for a workout program to keep you motivated, I am launching a brand new Lean Build & Burn challenge for the month of October! It will coincide with Sober October and also, combines strength training, sprint interval training and HIIT to maximize fat burn but most importantly, improve hormone function, metabolic health, and energy levels!
Third, MEAL PREPPING!
Parenting is usually a complete gong show and if you’re anything like us (during the fall especially), if you don’t have a meal ready at 5 p.m., you end up snacking on your body weight in goldfish crackers and crappy snacks.
That’s why this fall we are 100% committing to meal prepping. Meal prepping as parents is a game changer when managing busy schedules to ensure the whole family eats healthily. By having healthy meals ready to go, we take a load off our mental plates, making the week run more smoothly.
I have linked a few of my recipes here that we love but if you are short on time, even meal prep services like Hello Fresh or FactorMeals are decent options! There is absolutely no wrong way to do it. The most important thing is that you find a way to fuel yourself and your family with healthy foods, as the way you eat impacts every facet of your physical and mental health.
We are focusing a lot of energy on this area and we hope you join us!
Fourth, take a day or book a getaway to do something PURELY for you!
Now, firstly, I want to say I know this probably isn’t for everyone (believe me, there aren’t many people willing to watch all four of our boys at once!) The concept of this is kind of like the reward at the end of a fitness challenge. It gives you something to look forward to and I find it helps motivate me personally with both prioritizing my fitness and focusing on work.
I find it helpful to have a reward at the end of your commitment. This year, for example, I have some goals for our businesses and I want to work out consistently up until mid-December. To motivate myself, we have booked a December getaway for some sunshine!
And it doesn’t have to be a big, elaborate trip. It can be a day trip to a spa or going to watch a matinee in the middle of the day. Whatever will excite you and give you something to look forward to as a reward for pushing yourself this fall!
And with that said…
Remember, taking time to prioritize yourself isn’t selfish but SELFLESS because a happy, healthy you is always going to be a better parent!
So congratulations again on surviving summer Squadies and please, if you have any questions or thoughts, comment away! Now let’s get back to feeling our best!
thanks! i needed to read this today :)